Well it's officially here...it's 2011. i've pretty much been dreading this year since summertime :( this is possibly going to be one of the hardest years of my life...for half of it atleast. there are lot's of things to look forward to this year & also lot's of things i'm going to be upset, sad, and miserable about this year. I'm ready to get it over with...i really am! but i just didn't think it would be here so fast :( not too many days left with him & the days are flying by i feel like everyday gets shorter and shorter the closer we get to the big day. Tonight we rung in the new year with my cousin and her "friend"...it was a good time but we just laid low tonight...tomorrow night is the BIG night! throwing A a birthday party tomorrow night :) i'm making him a cake...my first one! yikes...if you know me you know i'm a disaster in the kitchen, complete mess to say the least :) but i'm going to make it work so wish me luck!!!
I really don't think i'm emotionally ready for what is about to come of my life :( the other night he hugged me and i started to cry because all i could think about was not being able to feel those hugs for a very long time...too long...and it made me sad that a lot can change & what if we change and i never get to feel those hugs again...i'm not saying things will change i have complete utter confidence in our relationship to survive this, but it was just something that happened to creep into my mind and make me a little sad...the hugs are something i'm going to miss a lot. I am lucky that i have a great group of friends that i can go too whenever i feel like i'm having a rough day...i have a feeling i'm going to have a lot of them, but i know i will make it through this i just have too.
2011 is going to be a long year...and i've got so many things planned to keep me busy! I am going to get a gym membership and work out with my cousin, aslo detox my body & eat healthy while he's gone...i want to be bikini ready for summer and shock him at how amazing i will look when he gets back :) i also want to volunteer at an animal shelter & of course i will be babysitting one of my favorite little girls & that always keeps me busy :) i will find other things to do as well i'm sure but those are just some ideas i've come up with so far...oh and i'll aslo spend a lot of my time doing school work...i will be a busy bee. the busier i am the less bad days i will hoepfully have! I'm pretty sure this thing will get the majority of my bad days...be prepared! But i'm strong enough to make it through this & i will...so bring on the new year! let's hope it's easier on me then i think it will be!
till next time...
xoxo, C
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