Happy New Year...or is it?

Well it's officially here...it's 2011. i've pretty much been dreading this year since summertime :( this is possibly going to be one of the hardest years of my life...for half of it atleast. there are lot's of things to look forward to this year & also lot's of things i'm going to be upset, sad, and miserable about this year. I'm ready to get it over with...i really am! but i just didn't think it would be here so fast :( not too many days left with him & the days are flying by i feel like everyday gets shorter and shorter the closer we get to the big day. Tonight we rung in the new year with my cousin and her "friend"...it was a good time but we just laid low tonight...tomorrow night is the BIG night! throwing A a birthday party tomorrow night :) i'm making him a cake...my first one! yikes...if you know me you know i'm a disaster in the kitchen, complete mess to say the least :) but i'm going to make it work so wish me luck!!!

I really don't think i'm emotionally ready for what is about to come of my life :( the other night he hugged me and i started to cry because all i could think about was not being able to feel those hugs for a very long time...too long...and it made me sad that a lot can change & what if we change and i never get to feel those hugs again...i'm not saying things will change i have complete utter confidence in our relationship to survive this, but it was just something that happened to creep into my mind and make me a little sad...the hugs are something i'm going to miss a lot. I am lucky that i have a great group of friends that i can go too whenever i feel like i'm having a rough day...i have a feeling i'm going to have a lot of them, but i know i will make it through this i just have too.

2011 is going to be a long year...and i've got so many things planned to keep me busy! I am going to get a gym membership and work out with my cousin, aslo detox my body & eat healthy while he's gone...i want to be bikini ready for summer and shock him at how amazing i will look when he gets back :) i also want to volunteer at an animal shelter & of course i will be babysitting one of my favorite little girls & that always keeps me busy :) i will find other things to do as well i'm sure but those are just some ideas i've come up with so far...oh and i'll aslo spend a lot of my time doing school work...i will be a busy bee. the busier i am the less bad days i will hoepfully have! I'm pretty sure this thing will get the majority of my bad days...be prepared! But i'm strong enough to make it through this & i will...so bring on the new year! let's hope it's easier on me then i think it will be!
till next time...
xoxo, C

here comes 2011

Well friends...2011 is right around the corner & im getting kind of nervous about it :( A will be leaving for a 6-8 month deployment in 2011 and i am NOT looking forward to it...that's way too long. I don't have that much longer with him...i'm trying to make the best of it but sometimes i get a little upset and mad that he's leaving and i'll be stuck here without him :( i know i shouldn't let it get to me an enjoy the time i have but it's so hard...I think for my new years resolution i am going to detox my body :) whoo hoo..time to get healthy ya'll! now that the holiday's are over...it's time to get myself back in shape for the summer season!!! I'm trying to find ways to stay busy while he'll be gone...i'm getting a gym membership as well so i can work on that fitness & also keep my mind off of missing him...i'm glad i'll be closer to friends and family to get me through this!! This week A & I came to our hometown to get together with friends and family, hang out and have some fun! Tomorrow i'm taking A to Dave & Busters because he's never been before...we're also going to eat at Red Lobster sometime before he leaves...our 16 month anniversary is coming up! we have to make this one special cause it will be awhile before we will be able to celebrate another one! Well i'm just rambling now...not much else going on!!! can't believe it's almost 2011...my Brother & Amy get Married...A and I will also have a wedding in August :) time is flying by...time for me to get cracking on some more wedding planning now that the holidays have come and gone i can get back on track...keep me busy :)
till next time...
xoxo, C

jingle bell rock

well hello all...i hope everyone had a very merry christmas :) i know i sure did! A and I got lot's of presents from our families!! it's been a very long day but we made it through...we were staying the night at my parents but because of the snow storm we decided to come back home so we didn't get snowed in there! Not too many more days left before he's gone...I've got to enjoy this time with him as best as i can...i'm going to be a WRECK, but i'm looking forward to putting this behind us and getting it over with so we can get married in august & hopefully buy a house when he comes back :) :) i'm most excited about the whole buying a house deal...haha! Not much going on...i'm throwing A a birthday party jan 1st :) i hope he has a blast...not too much else happening besides packing and moving back to mville & getting ready for the big D, so spending as much time with A as i can while i can :) ahh...well i don't really have anything else to talk about...sorry this is a short one...not much as been going on! i'll update as soon as i can...
till next time :)
xoxo, C

The worst part of life is waiting, the best part of life is having someone worth waiting for :)

Well...A is finally back...well he's been back for like a week now so i haven't really had time to write because i'd been spending some much needed Quality Time with him :) We finished our christmas shopping yesterday & turned in out paper work to get out of the lease...the decision has deff been made i'll be moving back to mechanicsville till A comes home! He made the decision to keep me safe...he can't be here to do that so he wants to me go where he knows he doesn't have to worry so much!! & because it's christmas time & so many birthdays in jan so we would be cutting ourselves short if we moved somewhere else...we did find a place we LOVED in virginia beach...so we'll check into that possibly when he comes back...whenever that may be! or i think he wants to look into buying a house possibly? we'll see. So A and I gave each other our big presents...i bought him an xbox & he bought me a kindle :) & he bought me two books to put on there already...i'm loving the kindle...A goes on leave soon so we can concentrate on getting a POD and moving out stuff back to Mechancisville! i am excited to have my nanny job back & spending time with my supportive parents & my supportive friends!!! can't wait :) the only thing that sucks is we don't want to buy groceries because they will go bad...so when adam's not here im starving! lol not really...we still have food but its a limited amount and i haven't gotten my card from Navy Fed yet so i can't go out and buy me some food! :( :( boo...December is going sooo fast & i'm not looking forward to it ending...i just want these days to go by sooooooo slow so i can enjoy my time with him more. A has duty tonight so its a night at home alone...i hope he got approved to have Monday off so we can have two days to hang out and enjoy each others company...Christmas & the next day are going to be LONG days & hectic...we have so much to do and so many people to see...hmm...well i think im going to try and find something to eat and maybe put in a christmas movie and relax!! till next time...
xoxo, C

you are the best thing that's ever been mine

So it looks like in Jan i'll be moving back to good ol' mechanicsville till the big D is over...which is fine with me because we'll save lots o' money if i do that...i am kinda sad because i did like our place together & having a "home" with him, but it's just not in a safe place like we thought it was. Adam doesn't want me there alone while he's gone...I know i'll probably get a bunch of shit for moving back while he's gone but honestly I didn't want to be alone for 6 months to begin with but i can't find anyone to move down there with me while he's gone! but we're going to save our money up while he's away for the big D and find a BETTER place somewhere closer to the beach? maybe? we'll see...i'll be working double time on this search! So wish me luck :) Not too much longer till he'll be back...i'm nervous about going back down there to the apartment...I want to see him but im terrified that something will happen when he's off to work :( the burglary happened at 7am...and Adam leaves super early...makes me not want to be there during the day at all...Wish i could find a job so i could leave during the day and come home when he's there. I want a TAZER! haha...thats one thing on my list to carry around in my purse :) i heard green top sells them...so i'm going to look into that!!! it's 2:17am...and i'm sleepy but i just can't seem to fall asleep...there is no TV in here so it's hard...i need background music :( maybe ill put a DVD in my laptop and go to sleep...My dog is snoring!!! it's so cute! :) love her!! Well...i think that's enough ramblin' for one night...dontcha think? hmm..I just can't wait for Adam to come back, i need lots of hugs and kisses!! i'll feel a little bit safer when he comes back...but i think i'll always be on the edge there till we move out! i hope we get everything straight when he gets home so we can end our lease and get the hell out of there & i can begin the search for a nicer better area and apartment...anyways...again with the ramblin' i'll update again when i have something to say... :)
till next time..
xoxo,
C

you've been here all along

hello friends! well...i am STILL in mechanicsville...i went home today to find out that my neighbor(below us) got his door kicked in this morning!! our apartment building only has 4 apartments in them...two on the 1st floor two on the 2nd floor. so our apartment door is right next to our neighbor below us...scary...he was at home apparently when it happened the burglar knocked on his door, so he went to the door and looked out of the peep hole and the burglar had his back to him so the guy didn't let him in so then the burglar started pounding on the door and then tried to KICK IN THE DOOR & cops were called. I don't even know what i would do if i was at home and that had happened...i literally would have FREAKED out. But when i heard everything that had happened when i returned home i immediately re-packed my bag and drove back to Mechanicsville...With Adam gone i don't want to be alone in that apartment esp when they haven't caught the guy & he could return and try and get into my apartment next...everything in my apartment is replaceable but i'm not replaceable and i'm a small girl and could not defend myself. Now when Adam comes back we've got to talk about what to do because i don't think i can stay and live in FEAR for 6 months while he's away on the big D :( I'm not sure what Adam is going to say buuut i think he'd much rather go away knowing i'm safe than worrying about me 24/7...i know i need to be a big girl and not run away but i'm seriously terrified...i'd be fine if Adam could come home every night but there will be no him coming home & i can't even call him to come home if something goes wrong...so i just don't know if i can do it & live in fear. I hope he understand or we come up with some kinda of solution...let's hope for the best! other than that...i had an awesome weekend at home! got to hang out with my bestie & we had a fun time with Lucas on saturday night...while im in mechanicsville im going to make some money :) babysitting Katie...yay so glad i get to hang out with her this week!! I can't wait for Adam to get home i just need a hug :( Well...i think this is enough ramblin' for one night...i'll update again as soon as i can...
till next time...
xoxo,
C

Update from Mechanicsville :)

Hello All!! Well i woke up at the lovely butt crack of dawn to drive the hour and 15 mins back to my wonderful hometown of Mechanicsville... :) fun fun...Well Adam was supposed to leave today for his last underway before the big D but of course it got pushed back till tomorrow...& of course he got off work early and had the rest of the day to hang out and i was already in mechanicsville...I'm highly disappointed, but that's the Navy for you, Always inconsistant :( That's life i guess...so he's been hanging out with some Ship friends today & i have to admit i'm a bit jealous that i'm not there...he sounds like he's having fun & i'm happy but i'd rather be there with him. Tonight i went to a purse party that my Future SIL was hosting...cute stuff :) Tomorrow i'm going to lunch and to see Harry Potter(again!) with my Mom, then having a sleepover with the BESTIE!!! im buying eclipse tomorrow :) super excited!! Sunday is the annual Mechanicsville Christmas Parade! My Dad Brother & Nephew will be in it on the fire truck :) Then it's back to Norfolk on Monday...& the JOB search will continue! Adam and I got some Christmas shopping done and the rest will be finished when he gets back from underway! excited for this Christmas... :) Well i think i've rambled enough...i'll update again when i had back to Norfolk town!! Hope everyone has a fantastic weekend!!! stay warm :)
till next time...
xoxo,
C